Already practising on your own? Do it with a guide you can ask.
I'm Noel. I built Mend for myself when EMDR was out of reach, then made it for anyone in the same place. It's a self-guided bilateral stimulation practice: you prepare, follow a moving ball at a speed you set, then settle. Your focus can be a feeling, a trigger or a memory. A computer-generated voice guide talks you through it, and you can ask it questions as you go. It's not therapy or crisis support.
For years I woke up twice a night, drenched in sweat, heart racing, from nightmares. In the day I felt flat and far away. I lost four jobs in one year.
I had no insurance and no money, and I was living outside my home country, somewhere mental health isn't a priority. EMDR was out of reach.
If the price, a waitlist or the distance keeps you from EMDR, that isn't your failure. The door is shut for a lot of people. I was on the wrong side of it too.
So I built my own process: prepare, follow the ball while holding one feeling, then settle.
The first time it landed, I cried, then felt relief, like stepping off a roller coaster. For me, with that first homemade version, the daytime flashbacks faded, the nightmares stopped, and I had my first good dream in twenty years.
That's my experience, not a promise. It's different for everyone.
Noel, Mother of Mend
What Mend is, and what it isn't
If people have told you not to do EMDR alone, they have a point. EMDR is a structured method used by trained practitioners. Mend isn't that, and I won't pretend it is.
Mend is a self-guided bilateral stimulation practice. You prepare with a worksheet, follow a moving ball with alternating tones while you hold your focus, then settle with grounding and reflection. You run it yourself, at your own pace.
What Mend doesn't do
Mend is not therapy and not EMDR therapy. It does not diagnose or treat any condition, and it does not replace working with a qualified practitioner.
Mend is not crisis support. If you're in crisis or in danger, contact local emergency services or someone nearby who can help.
There's no person on the other end of a session. The voice guide is computer-generated.
Mend is not hypnosis. You stay in control: you can talk, pause or end the session whenever you want.
I can't promise results. Everyone's different, and Mend won't suit everyone.
Start slow. You set the speed.
A lot of people aren't sure how fast the ball should go. You've probably heard the advice: start slow, ground yourself first, don't push it. In Mend, the speed and the other controls are in your hands.
Prepare first. A free worksheet helps you choose your focus before you start.
Say "slower" and the ball slows down. Say "pause the ball" and it stops while you keep talking.
Pause the whole session, or end it, whenever you want. There are buttons for each, too.
Set the ball speed, tone volume and voice volume the way you like them.
Each session finishes with a closing check-in.
You decide when to stop and when to come back.
On Mend Complete, each session is up to 20 minutes.
Not sure where to start? Ask as you go.
How do I actually do this? What do I focus on? How fast should the ball go? In a Mend session, you can ask the voice guide questions like these out loud, while you practise.
Your focus. Choose where to start: a feeling, a body sensation, a trigger or a memory.
The belief you'd rather hold. Choose it, then follow the ball and talk with your voice guide as you go.
A closing check-in. Finish by checking in with yourself before you go.
Captions show what Mend says and what you say, and a transcript lets you read back over the conversation.
The real session page: three parts across the top, controls under the ball, and captions of what Mend says and what you say.
No one clear memory? You can start from a feeling.
Many people don't have one event to point to. Maybe it was neglect and isolation, or something that happened every day. Maybe some of your memories are missing. In Mend, the focus you choose can be a feeling, a body sensation or a trigger. It doesn't have to be a memory or a story.
If something sets you off and you can't tell what it was, you can start from how it feels right now.
Two plans. Pick the one that fits you.
Mend's free videos are a fine place to start. A plan adds a voice guide you can talk to: it talks you through each part, answers your questions, and slows or pauses the ball when you ask. Running that voice costs money, so the plans are paid.
Simplest to start
Mend Complete
US$39 a month
Mend pays for the voice. There's nothing else to connect.
80 minutes of sessions a month, up to 20 minutes per session.
The voice guide is computer-generated. Some people don't like that, and that's fair.
You can choose the voice that suits you, turn the voice volume up or down, and read along with captions.
Privacy in brief
During a paid voice session, your microphone audio and conversation text are sent to OpenAI to run the voice guide. Mend does not save raw microphone audio. Session captions are kept temporarily. Full details are in the Privacy Policy.
Questions
How do I do this carefully on my own?
Only you can judge what's right for you. In Mend you prepare with the worksheet first, and you can slow the ball, pause or end a session at any time. If sessions leave you feeling worse, or you find it hard to stay present, stop and talk to a qualified practitioner.
Do I need ChatGPT?
Only for Mend Connected, which uses your ChatGPT Plus or Pro plan. If you'd rather not connect anything, choose Mend Complete.
What do I need to start?
Your email to sign in, and a microphone so you can talk with the voice guide. Your microphone is used only after you begin a session and allow microphone access.
When am I charged, and how do I cancel?
You pay when you check out on Stripe, then once a month until you cancel. Cancel any time from your account page, and you won't be charged again.
How long can a session be?
On Mend Complete, up to 20 minutes per session and 80 minutes of sessions a month. On Mend Connected, availability depends on the connected account and its limits.
Can I try it before I pay?
Yes. My free guided sessions are on Mend's YouTube channel (opens in a new tab). They're fixed recordings with a moving ball and a recorded voice, and you don't need an account to watch. Talking with the voice guide comes with a plan.
Not ready to pay? Watch the free sessions on YouTube.
If you're not sure you can do this, or you'd like to see how it feels first, I've put free guided sessions on Mend's YouTube channel. They're fixed recordings: the moving ball and a recorded voice. You don't need an account to watch. Talking with the voice guide comes with a plan.
